first impressions.

I.hips collided like an auto wreck, crushing bone, skin, bruising //unfortunately uncalloused, unable to pretend this energy was merely coincidental or entirely nonexistent but instead borne of a subliminally premeditated convergence,every time she fell to the floor she’d have to sweep the pile of herself together again after going to pieces //atoms bounced around like blind butterflies against intestinal muscles and […]

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good meal at mitchell’s.

I kept wanting to, after we’d switched sides of the booth for a change of scenery, cut the soft part out of your “special” cinnamon raisin French toast and dance the crust around in syrup. I kept wanting our waitress, or the busboy I scared away with my explosive laugh, to come back for coffee […]

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boyfriend shopping.

every week for entertainment value I pour overthe lists of hopeful singles seeking their match.sure I’ve thought about responding to some,even fantasized about the ones whose ads sounded perfect.but i couldn’t bring myself to make that 1-900 phone callor put $10 on my credit card for e-mail responses.I’d write my own ad, but how could […]

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SHOTGUN.

watched you take another drag. kinda sexy when you’re smoking. saw you at some show at mabel’s in july, azure in your hair, my mouth too close to your ear. i’m screaming in your ear. this noise is a drag. the sahara’s in my mouth. i’m really gonna quit smoking. in a few hours, azure […]

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chet baker bathroom wall blues.

I’m staring at the blue & white octagon tiles that have been laid on the bathroom floor of every Chicago apartment built before 1940. And Chet’s staring back at me. I can’t come in here without him making me listen to his solo.Girl, what are you doing here, with this guy who doesn’t wash his […]

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EIGHTH FLOOR

They don’t teach basket weaving anymore.Now they have you make beaded necklaces on strands of thin black rope that end up being too small to fit over your head.If you throw a cup of coffee across the roomjust to see what will happen to you,just to see the expressions on your companions’ faceschange from drug-induced lethargy to […]

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organic junk.

the albatross of past hurts weighs heavy like a fecal cross. garbage heaps expand for miles waiting to become compost piles but worms won’t  even eat this stuff, long since spoiled and decomposed. etheric mucus takes up so much space. the decongestion happens too fast. rejected detritus sings a white flag up the pole to […]

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Patagonia AZ, probably 2005.

Strange to live in a community where there is so much love, support & healing and still sometimes feel very much alone. Haven’t figured this out yet, and don’t plan to. Part of it is illusion of duality at times but there is more beyond this place, this episode of space. I like the aloneness, […]

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about smoking.

A floating plastic ashtray, party apple red standing around waiting to get drunk keggers, college, house parties waiting for the fun & games to start three dead & dying cigarettes once aflame pitta being smoldered lungs not caring b/c they have no chance when up against the mind corrosive habits if I get cancer I’ll […]

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NEEDLES.

Jason was shy  in a way that made you think he was intelligent, enigmatic  in a way that made you guess what his life was like before he split.  His plaid and leather jacket was his second skin, a security blanket during summer’s most brutal days. Bondage pants and pole climber boots, safety pins that […]

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